Worst case scenario guide to dating
Another thought comes to your head: You haven’t seen this friend in weeks. It’s the same impulse you have when you hear noises during the night, and you imagine a group of invaders stealing your laptop and eating your leftover casserole.
She declined the last time you invited, too, saying she had to stay late at work. It's the same impulse that makes you crawl out of bed and tiptoe into the kitchen to make sure nobody’s there (except the cat, of course).“If they imagine the worst possible scenario,” says Williamson, “they can be prepared for it and it won’t take them by surprise.
However, this can backfire and increase their anxiety because they’re always living ‘on edge,’ looking for a possible threat when no such threat exists.”So how do you know if you’re doing it?
If you notice any of the following clues, you might be catastrophizing.“One common thought I have seen is a person not expressing their own interests, disinterests, or boundaries for fear that it will end the relationship,” says Jessica Mac Donald, Ph D, licensed clinical psychologist and certified telebehavioral specialist at Soho CBT and Mindfulness. Mac Donald gives the example of being too tired to go out but not wanting to tell your significant other for fear of their response—that they’ll find you boring and want to break up, and you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.
However, starting this conversation now can help you in case things don’t work out.
There's literally nothing wrong with meeting someone online.
“You’re living in the realm of what could be or what could happen,” says Williamson.
“As a result, you’re unable to be fully present with those you love, and unable to fully give them your attention." And even if you’re “paying attention,” you’re putting less energy into the relationship, since you’re putting so much mental energy into analyzing possible threats.
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Dating a coworker is significantly more complex than dating a mutual friend or someone you met online.