Shearing the same roof when dating
Kids can sense when someone is being pushy to make a good impression and this often has the opposite effect.Create opportunities to make something together, play games and demonstrate that you're a good listener who respects whatever they have to say. Rushing into a parental role too quickly can have detrimental effects on a child's self-esteem and sense of security, especially if your relationship with the mother doesn't last.It's likewise critical that you practice the art of sharing and accept that you're not always going to be invited to join them in outings and family activities.By being a positive role model, a responsible helpmate and a fun companion, you're fostering a friendship that is separate and distinct from your love for their mom.Whatever feelings you may harbor toward the father, it's crucial that you embrace neutrality in any discussions about him with the children.This objectivity will demonstrate that his actions and character are not as important to you as the feelings you have toward them and their mother. With the graphics and everything, it makes the whole storyline come together.
They also need to appreciate that the inclusion of a new male figure in their lifestyle doesn't diminish the importance of their real dad.If your advice is solicited, you're certainly free to give it, but these discussions--as well as the establishment of ground rules for discipline--should take place privately.Respect for existing boundaries further extends to any indulgences on your part such as gifts, money, treats or promises of trips to Disneyland.Early dates with your new love should be breakfasts or lunches when the kids are in school, or evening dates where the children have already been taken to a friend's house or the babysitter's before you arrive.If you haven't spent that much time around children and young adults, you've got a lot of homework ahead of you.