Dating to serious
You see, I already had two children, and he didn’t have any. He assured me from day one, and never wavered, that he would be perfectly fulfilled being the bonus dad (step-dad) to my children, and he has demonstrated this consistently over the past nine years. I have been in an environment where people just shut down and avoid all conflict. We wanted to be sure that the proper balance existed when dealing with conflict so that both of us felt “heard.” Sometimes one of us will simply say, “you are bugging the crap out of me right now …” We may simply acknowledge that statement, or we may discuss it (depending on how serious it is), but we’ve found that’s a good balance for us between screaming and going silent! We did discuss it a lot, but only because I wanted to be 100% sure that Justin would never second-guess his answer.
There are just certain spots that remain tender and sensitive.In contrast, my family is located across the country, and we talk about once a week. For example, I am not a gift person while others love to receive gifts.The common denominator is that no matter how much or little we talk about the daily, trivial things, we will all drop anything and everything if anyone finds themselves in crisis. If you give me a gift, I will be appreciative but I won’t correlate that with love.There is not necessarily a right or wrong answer here, but rather it’s a preference.For example, my observation is that Justin’s family talks almost daily even though they are all located in the same town. This is an important one since we all feel and show love differently.