But, by giving a term to that grey area between casual sex and serious relationship, we’re only helping couples avoid the scary On paper, the guy I'm dating and I are in a situationship.
But since I have to have boundaries in order to exist in a relationship, we’ve hammered that shit out, and drawn our lines in the sand.
But instead, we can say "I totally ghosted that person," chuckle, and move on.
At the end of the day, we say we "ghost" to avoid recognising that other people have emotions, and we say we’ve been "ghosted" to mask our very real emotions after their existence has been denied.
(In fact, he and I are quite content with a little breathing room to figure out if we want to pursue things more seriously, thank you very much.) It’s because, once again, the internet has given a cutesy name to a relationship behaviour people are unhappy with.
Think about it: There’s a litany of one-liners that we give certain relationship behaviours.
Do women care about who sends the first message, how do men like to express romantic feelings, how soon do you wait after a first date to text each other and how cool is too cool when on a date?
"That humour is a way to diffuse our pain and our hurt, and help us feel validated." I get that, because I do it in everyday life — and not just about relationships.
I stub my toe on almost every corner I come in contact with, but I make a joke of my clumsiness every time it happens in order to diffuse the embarrassment.
Laughing about being blown off by the person we split nachos with last Thursday helps us feel like But let’s be real — giving cutesy names to behaviour that we don’t like doesn’t just make us feel better. If every time you decided to breadcrumb or ghost, you had to actually think, , we’d probably be less likely to do that.
And the more we start admitting the discomfort, the more comfortable we’ll be.
Three date rule, play hard to get, men should pay, dress your best; you’ve probably heard every piece of traditional dating advice.